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	<title>Band of Slugs &#187; Simon Cowell</title>
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		<title>Charity Single Means Misery for Breakfast</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/8571/honest-news/charity-single-means-misery-for-breakfast.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/8571/honest-news/charity-single-means-misery-for-breakfast.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 09:41:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Charity Single]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Haiti]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=857</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Millions of Britons have been waking up this week to the sound of rich people being throttled and &#8216;singing&#8217;, without a hint of irony, about everybody hurting.  These stars, who want for nothing and have staff to deal with any problem, are raining depression upon the British with their whiny, strangle-esque rendition of a very [...]]]></description>
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		<title>David Bowie Rages Over Jedward Single</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/8231/honest-news/david-bowie-rages-over-jedward-single.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/8231/honest-news/david-bowie-rages-over-jedward-single.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:28:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[David Bowie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jedward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=823</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Legendary musician, David Bowie, is said to be maniacal after the news that Sony BMG have signed the world&#8217;s worst &#8216;musical&#8217; duo since Milli Vanilli &#8211; the universally hated Jedward.  Bowie, upon hearing of Jedward&#8217;s plans to release a version of the classic Bowie/Queen song &#8216;Under Pressure&#8217;, allegadly flew in to a rage and threw [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Cowell To Use Haiti Crisis for Pop Revival</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/7971/honest-news/cowell-to-use-haiti-crisis-for-pop-revival.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/7971/honest-news/cowell-to-use-haiti-crisis-for-pop-revival.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Jan 2010 09:59:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Charity Single]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Haiti]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=797</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Simon Cowell has vowed to restore flagging careers and make millions in profit by fast tracking a &#8216;charity&#8217; single for the Haiti Relief fund.  The pop guru is in contact with many failing and under-exposed pop stars to record an awful version of a terrible song and so far Cheryl Cole is the only confirmed [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<title>Product Design Awards End in Tragedy</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/7511/nonsense/product-design-awards-ends-in-tragedy.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/7511/nonsense/product-design-awards-ends-in-tragedy.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:16:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Nonsense]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[BGT]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Britains Got Talent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[product design]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=751</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Product Designers from around the country were left in horror last night as a concept product design came to life and opened fire on the judging panel.  The Annual Product Design Awards were being held to celebrate British product design and to drum up business from overseas but an award winning design for a new [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Simon Cowell to Take Charge of Live Debates</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/6971/honest-news/simon-cowell-to-take-charge-of-live-debates.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/6971/honest-news/simon-cowell-to-take-charge-of-live-debates.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Dec 2009 11:38:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[david cameron]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gordon Brown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Live Debates]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nick Clegg]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SNP]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=697</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Simon Cowell&#8217;s production company, Syco, is in line to head up the live politcal TV debates that will be aired next year featuring the three major political parties and possibly the vast girls blouse that is the SNP if their legal challenge to feature in the show is successful.  Simon Cowell will likely be on [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Simon Cowell Usurped by New Chart Rigger</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/6901/honest-news/simon-cowell-usurped-by-new-chart-rigger.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/6901/honest-news/simon-cowell-usurped-by-new-chart-rigger.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Dec 2009 10:51:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christmas number 1]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joe McElderry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rage Against the Machine]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[X Factor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=690</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Simon Cowell is said to be disappointed that a new person is now controlling the charts in what could be the only correct use of irony since American teenagers decided to invent a new definition for it.  Unbelievably, the public have bought in to this latest chart fixing with apparently lemming-esque abandon proving that the [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Fears Grow Over Jedward Release</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/6101/honest-news/fears-grow-over-jedward-release.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/6101/honest-news/fears-grow-over-jedward-release.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Nov 2009 12:25:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jedward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[X Factor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=610</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Britain is living in the grip of fear after John and Edward Grimes were released from the X Factor at the weekend.  Jedward are now expected to be seen far more frequently on television shows now that they are no longer confined to quarantine which has led to wide spread panicking among the public. The [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Olly Murs Vicously Beats Jedward</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/5671/honest-news/olly-murs-vicously-beats-jedward.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/5671/honest-news/olly-murs-vicously-beats-jedward.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:05:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grime twins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jedward]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Olly Murs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[X Factor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=567</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Olly Murs performed on X Factor with a broken finger at the weekend after violently beating the twins in the house the contestants share.  Olly bravely put his injury to one side to perform brilliantly on Saturdays show and is still recovering. The incident at the home flared when the Jedward twins insisted that they [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Simon Cowell to be Assassinated</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/5251/honest-news/simon-cowell-to-be-assassinated.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/5251/honest-news/simon-cowell-to-be-assassinated.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Nov 2009 10:38:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gordon Brown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grime twins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Louis Walsh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Republic of Ireland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[X Factor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=525</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Simon Cowell is to be assassinated after pulling his trousers down and defecating on the British public from a significant height.  He did this live on television on Sunday night.  When given the opportunity to banish the unstable anti-talented twins he instead allowed the British public, who have been denied a proper education since 1997, [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>X Factor Twins Favourites to be Assasinated</title>
		<link>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/4101/honest-news/x-factor-twins-favourites-to-be-assasinated.html</link>
		<comments>http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/4101/honest-news/x-factor-twins-favourites-to-be-assasinated.html#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Oct 2009 09:45:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>salt_circle</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Honest News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grime twins]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Louis Walsh]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Simon Cowell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[X Factor]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.bandofslugs.co.uk/?p=410</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The most  insufferable tossers in history, the X Factor twins, are leading favourites to be shot in front of millions of viewers.  Louis Walsh, the tit who put them through, is also being lined up as a potential target although it is more likely he will simply be banished to Ireland where he can annoy [...]]]></description>
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