Israel Siezes Air Conditioning Units from Hizbollah
Israeli forces have detained a shipment of Air Conditioning units bound for Lebanon’s Hizbollah movement. Tens of the air cooling devices were found onboard a vessel in the Israeli port of Ashdod where the military were investigating reports that Air Conditioning units were being trafficked to militants across the region. The provision of domestic luxuries to terrorists is explicitly outlawed by the Government in Israel and they have already been embarrassed by reports that shipments of brown goods have already made it past their rigorous checks.
Sources close to the investigation have told Band of Slugs that the containers were marked with Iranian shipping codes which suggests that Tehran may be supplying comfort goods to militants in the region.
An Israeli Defence spokesman said “We are not going to tolerate the willful supply of Air Conditioning units to schmucks. This act of chutzpah is in direct violation of gischmoigun and warrants strong action against the meshugener who is responsible. Now we have to shlep this schlock around, whoever did this is in some serious tsuris.”
Hizbollah were unavailable for comment but it is understood that they are already busy installing the home entertainment systems they received from the ayatollah last week.
Leonard Cohen was pelted with rocks and told in no uncertain terms to piss off in Israel last night after the crowd seemed shocked that Alexandra Burke, last years X Factor winner, had appeared to turn white, old and male.
Israelis and Palestinians stopped killing each other for 23 minutes last night. In a rare moment of unity both sides insisted that Madonna should stop behaving like a Sugar Babe, realise she is older than most of her fans mothers and put some bloody clothes on before she catches her death.