Greece Sold To Germany

11th Feb 2010

How Greece might look under German ownership

Debt-ridden Greece has been put up for auction for a few Euros and Germany is expected to purchase the country and re-brand it as a health resort for aging Germans. Greece has been spending far more money than it earns which, as any school boy will tell you, eventually leads to an attempt to fake your own death. Since Greece can’t actually do that it will have to sell itself to the highest bidder.

The auction will go ahead today in Brussels where France and Germany are expected to compete against other EU countries for the deeds to the mediterranean state with Germany the favourites to walk away with the prize. The down side to the purchase will, of course, be the €250 billion in debt.

Germans are largely pleased with the news that they may find themselves with more land. Hanz Gerbeinschmit, of Herford, said “Ja, ich think zis ist gut. Ve can now go to Greece und have a sexy party mit uzer Germans. Ich suppose zat it vood not be too pleasant if zee Englanders vere allowed in to das neu German state. Nine, ich do not wanten zee Englanders zer at all.”

Gordon Brown will be present at the auction but is not expected to bid unless France or German tell him to. Despite the UK not being a Euro zone country many believe they will be bullied by France and Germany in to giving them their lunch money in a blatant act of school boy terrorism. The people of Britain are largely apathetic to politics however this may tip their anger in to giving Gordon Brown a stern telling off.

The auction will begin at 1100 GMT today.

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2 Responses to “Greece Sold To Germany”

The bad guy from the continent 11/02/10 at 12:44

wow, crap like that is found on the Google Newspage, not that I had been activley searching for this rather unfunny piece of work. It just provokes – as always – a mild smile seeing that in England people still love the good, old, bad Germany (guys, can’t you come with something new? – I know your recent history does not provide with many success-stories, but still…) Also, I will never understand why supposedly German accents seem so funny: I personally find it way funnier, that people from the UK are the only ones not understood anywhere in the world when speaking English – after all, they just can’t pronounce their own mother tongue in a way any foreigner is likely to understand.
Anyway, lots of “laf” (love or laugh, who cares) from Berlin, the capital of whatever-you-want-it-to-be-capital-of.

salt_circle 11/02/10 at 13:48

So glad you liked the article. I think you’ll find this site doesn’t spare anyone – least of all the British, who are quite capable of having a laugh at themselves. We’ll try harder next time to appeal to that fabled German sense of humour. Having been born in Germany, and living there for almost 8 years, the author of this article is actually rather fond of our ancesteral cousins and would like to pass on his warmest thanks for your comment. Not entirely sure what you mean by ‘good, old, bad Germany’ though? The article plays on the German apetite for leisure and their longevity – good, yes! Old, a significant proportion of the population due to excellent health care! Bad? I thought we at Band of Slugs were the mis-informed piss takers?

Band of Slugs