Band of Slugs

Brown to Chair Reception Furniture Company

Gordon Brown Plans to Reform the Reception Furniture Industry

Gordon Brown has already began taking offers for a new job after he resigns from politics following an expected humiliation at the ballot box later this year.  With every poll now predicting a Conservative win in the next General election it is left for the Scottish bruiser to begin listening to job offers.  Top of the list for the outgoing Prime Minister is a chairman’s role at a leading Reception furniture company.

With offers thin on the ground it has become apparent that a number of smaller companies have taken advantage of the PMs situation by offering him a reduced salary position at the top of their tables.  The Reception furniture company in question is already a supplier to number 10 and recently made the proposal to Mr. Brown.  Close aides to the nations leader have already said that he is willing to listen to any offer and even some leading conservatives are considering him for a position in one of their many businesses.

The only likely way out for Gordon will be a coalition agreement with the Liberal Democrats but this is unlikely to win public favour and Nick Clegg has privately laughed off the idea.  Clegg allegedly said on a Sunday morning discussion program (possibly the Andrew Marr Show) that he’d rather dine with some rich people than share government with “that oafish ne’er do well”.  Clegg himself has interest in a reception furniture company and has ruled out the idea of poaching the PMs skills for his own business.

The Reception furniture company in question released a private statement to the press with the express wishes that they are not named as it may harm sales.  The statement went on to say that they are very interested in Gordon Browns unique experiences and have so far had an excellent relationship with number 10.  Gordon himself was, as ever, unavailable for comment but a source close to the PM said “The election can’t come soon enough, I’m sick of the site of him.  Vote Conservative, it really couldn’t be any worse.”