Band of Slugs

Study Reveals Cheap Blinds Are Not Funny

The Classic 'Rock Bottom' Demotivational Poster

A major study in to the comedy value of cheap blinds has revealed that there is nothing funny about them at all.  The market research firm Acme Research Service for Enterprise (ARSE) spent three years and £14 million on research in to the average laugh factor of cheap blinds.  The report, officially released tomorrow, concludes that at no point in the manufacture, distribution and use of cheap blinds are they remotely amusing.

ARSE recommends designers of cheap blinds incorporate elements of amusement in their manufacturing to increase sales.  The author of the report, entitled ‘Cheap Blinds: About as Funny as a Brick’, suggests printing one-line jokes on the slats of the blinds, or funny pictures that reveal themselves once the blinds are closed.  One such example of an “hilarious” picture would be the popular de-motivational poster entitled ‘Rock Bottom’, pictured left.

Cheap Blind manufacturers have been eagerly awaiting the report which they hope will kick start their business which has taken a further hit as it was revealed the Myleen Klass has designed her own range of curtains.  Craig Hindmarsh, Director of Blinds4U, said “We’re all looking forward to the research.  We want our blinds to be the funniest on the market but they really are so not funny we failed to come up with our own concepts.  This could be the next big thing for our industry which hasn’t had a boost since… erm, actually we’ve never had a big thing in blinds.”