Band of Slugs

Corporate Events are Plagued by Tony Blair

Tony Blair is a great admirer of his own work

Tony Blair has began a new program of pointless speeches at corporate events following the launch of his new 2010 pricing structure.  The new payment plan for companies wishing to take on the speaking talents of the former Prime Minister has seen the cost of a thirty minute speech plummet to just £6,999 – just a third of the cost in November 2009.  Corporate Events organisers are clamouring to employ the services of a warmonger to liven up the usually dull occasions.

Luck Stanford, a Corporate Events Organiser from Stoke, said “It looks good on the invitations.  You open up the invite and there is Tony Blair grinning at you with a little speech bubble saying something ‘Look, let me be absolutely clear on this – David Miliband is pretending to be me!’”  Many workers and share holders are now worried that their corporate event may include the once important person but the greatest fear remains his wife.  In a recent survey of Invitees to various Corporate Events 90% said they would quit their jobs and move to Russia if they so much as hear Cherie Blair sneezing.  50% said they would consider an over-dose if she tried to engage them in conversation.