Band of Slugs

Sixth Form College London Rated Best Doss

Sixth Form College London Student takes it easy after week long binge

Sixth Form College London has been rated the best doss in the country following a survey of lazy, unwashed sixth formers.  The highly sought-after award is expected to increase applications for the college by at least 70% in the summer as illiterate school leavers look for the easiest option before taking a gap year to Australia to further their idleness.  A Sixth Form College London spokesman said “We;re obviously delighted, students these days expend a great deal of energy, perhaps up to 100 calories, researching the easiest college option.  At the Sixth Form College London, we’ve been voted the best doss so applicants can be assured they’re getting it as easy as possible”.

Potential students, in the process of failing their final exams at school, greeted the news with some caution.  Chardonnay Maskill, a possible applicant and all-round lazy girl, said “Yeah, it’s like totally good news but I like to think that another college will now step up their game and make it even easier for me to do absolutely nothing before my mum pays for me to go to Thailand or sumfink.  Hopefully they’ll let me know because I don’t really want to have to find the best doss myself, do I?”

Other awards including ‘Largest Class Size’ and ‘Highest Proportion of Unqulaified Teachers’ all went to Schools and Colleges in the London area.  Scottish colleges and schools were not accepted by the awards panel as they cleaned up last year taking all awards in one area of Glasgow alone.  This meant that for this year Scotland was broken up in to 2 separate categories.  One for Glasgow and the other for the rest of Scotland.  It is thought that Scotland has the highest rate of illiteracy in the world, with Burkina Faso the nearest with 20% literacy.  Well done.