Band of Slugs

Mischievous Ryanair Boss Branded Childish

Michael O'Leary shows how much he cares

Over-priced budget airline boss, Michael O’Leary, has been branded ‘puerile’ and ‘childish’ by the office of fair trading.  The news was met with shock from many consumer groups who said the OFT didn’t go far enough with their name-calling and urged a stronger stance with ‘money-pinching wankers’ and ‘con artists of the first order’ preferred to the soft, cuddly terms used originally.

Consumer group Anti-Ryanair Society of England, or ARSE, issued a statement shortly after the OFT had timidly told off the budget(ish) airline saying “Those thieves just take the piss!  A government office with the OFTs influence should really be using stronger language.  We urge the OFT to re-write their mild ticking off and replace ‘childish’ with ‘criminally taking the absolute piss’ and ‘puerile’ with ‘filth-ridden twats who should be strung up in London somewhere so people can throw their own crap at them’.  We feel that would be a better start.  And for the record, Michael O’Leary is an ugly little prick and I hope an engine falls off one of his crappy little planes and lands squarely on his head.”

Ryanair countered the statement from ARSE with “Now dare, we won’t be having any statements loike dat chrown at us by dose eirseholes at ARSE.  Jost for dat we moight go ahead with our plans to introduce charging for use of da stairs dat you walk up on to da plane.  So not only will ya haff tee walk all over da runway to get to da plane but know you’re going tee haff tee somehow climb up on tee it or you’ll be paying us a few euro for da pleasure.  Roight?”

Ryanair are expected to announce plans to annoy their passengers by 130% in 2010 to ensure any travel with them is as bleak and expensive as possible while still managing to appear to be very cheap.  The OFT are expected to do nothing else about the internationally regarded con artists until 2015, when they are tipped to engage in the next round of name-calling.