Band of Slugs

‘Educational Toys’ Found in Joe McElderry’s Room

Joe McElderry adjusts his Bra Strap

Removal workers tasked with emptying out the X Factor house have found what ITV spokesmen are calling ‘Educational Toys’ in Joe McElderry’s room.  Joe McElderry, who last night won the X Factor, is said to be mortified but publicly he is distancing himself from allegations that the educational toys found were actually My Little Pony’s, a collection of hair dressing accessories and a dressing up kit.

This is not the first time educational toys have been at the centre of controversy.  Last year there were 259 hospital admissions that were are due to ‘Educational Toy Insertion Trauma’, fortunatly nobody has died from this yet.  It is thought the toys were a gift from Will Young who was said to be ‘very taken’ when meeting the boy at Cheryl Coles’ contestant selection.

Joe McElderry beat Olly Murrs in the final last night and is tipped to be almost as successful as Leon Jackson who presumably died shortly after winning the fourth season of the popular show.  The single, called ‘Climb’ or something, will doubtless hit the number 1 spot despite a rather poor attempt from an internet campaign to usurp the Christmas number one position.