Band of Slugs

Rich Bankers Take Lead with Guarantor Loans

Oi! Sign the form, Banker!

Filthy rich Bankers are being told to put up their cash to guarantee loans for everyone else who are stinking poor.  With Bankers being offered ridiculous bonuses or eye-watering pay rises in the wake of the banking scandal that help the world run out of money the Government are set to introduce new rules that will force the only workforce in the country with any money to act as guarantor with any new guarantor loan application.

Bankers have already found ways around new bonus rules which were designed to curtail risky financial decisions and promote a more long term approach to guessing what, if anything, will net them and their employers a massive windfall of cash.  These new rules are designed to be less forgiving and force bankers to put their ill-gotten gains up for the benefit of the public.  All Guarantor Loan applications will now feature a unique code which, when punched in to website, will give the applicant a name of a banker to put in the form as the guarantor.  The named banker will then receive notification that if the applicant fails to pay up, they’ll be responsible.

A Guarantor Loans is a method of borrowing where an applicant can specify another person to assure the borrowing.  It is usually preferred by people with a poor credit rating, which applies to most people not employed by a bank or the Government, and in the event that the applicant cannot pay the borrowed amount back it will fall to the guarantor to pay it back.  Indemnity clauses can be added to ensure that the guarantor is paid back by the applicant in the event that he or she has to fork out because the person who borrowed the cash bailed out.  It is not clear at this time if an indemnity clause will be required.  Who’d be a banker now?