Podgy Pig’s family Driven Out of Nutwood By Angry Mob
Sources from inside Nutwood Common have said that a major disturbance has taken place involving violent attacks on the home of Podgy Pig and his family. It is thought that fears over swine flu triggered the incidents. The attacks have not been verified due to the highly fictitious nature of Nutwood and the ridiculous talking animals that live in it.
Bill Badger (who is a badger) commented “Yeah, we like totally went round to Podgy’s home and panned his f****** windows in man – we almost got his door bashed in but that f***** PC Growler [who is a dog] turned up”. Bill Badger said he was in serious trouble because he had broken his ASBO in the process of vandalising Podgy’s home.
Bill also said “I can’t believe I got f****** collared again, and that p**** Rupert ran off with Ferdy and Freddy [who are wolves]. He was the one who started throwing f****** bricks anyway.”
PC Growler said the Podgy family had been on the receiving end of increasingly hostile behaviour. It allegedly began by Doctor Lion [who is a lion] refusing Podgy’s family entry to his surgery, for fear of spreading swine flu to the other animals of Nutwood Common.
In a statement Doctor Lion said “I’m not having those filthy swine b****** in my surgery, they can f*** off as far as I’m concerned. I haven’t got enough Tamiflu here as it is and they just waltz in and risk everyone’s health. The fat b******.”
When interviewed by reporters outside his damaged home, Podgy Pig said: “Me and my family have been totally victimised. They’re behaving like a bunch of f****** animals.”
PC Growler is asking the public for further information regarding the incident, but so far no one has stepped forward.
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