Band of Slugs

Daily Mirror Staff Die of Boring

A Labour Politician. Rich beyond your wildest dreams.

Tragedy on Fleet Street this morning when the staff of the Daily Mirror all died of boring – a rare affliction where a group of people lose the will to live when they become too dull.  The illness may have been compounded by a further affliction that had gripped the office – it has emerged that they all suffered with being too pro-labour.  Early indications suggest they were all so pro-labour they began to run delusional headlines suggesting that the Tories are in it for the money. Well, duh…

While this is almost universally accepted as fact, the Mirror went as far as to suggest that Labour were not in power for the single purpose of getting big, fat and rich beyond their wildest dreams.  A subtext in the paper promoting Labours vision of a fairer society, equality, yada yada yada gushed from their front page in a piece many are comparing to communist propaganda worthy of North Korea.

Books of condolences have been opened up in high streets around the country but they remain empty as people are still reeling from the epic hypocrisy that poured today’s frontpage.  In short, nobody cares.