Band of Slugs

Tony Blair To Be Offered Chief Shoe Shine Role

Tony Blair will be this boys Boss

Tony Blair will be offered the position of European Chief of Shoe Shining today in a bid to appease Britons who want rid of the man who orchestrated the beginnings of the new UK totalitarian state.  European people in suits will offer the top job of President to a small and insignificant person who will perform tricks for the German and French leaders at many an EU soirée.

Blair had been a contender for the EU court jester role but it is thought that he simply isn’t funny enough to satisfy the notoriously humourless Angela Merkel, who, it is rumored, has never laughed once in her life.  Sources close to the decision process have commented on Sarkozy’s jealousy at Tony Blair’s height which would make the French President feel even more insecure about his unnaturally stunted frame.

The model for the decision making process has been taken verbatim from an old soviet method where the people are merely told what is good for them and to hell with public opinion.