Band of Slugs

Obama in China Stand-Up Comedy Routine

Chancellor Obama gives the Chinese some shtick

Chancellor Obama had more than 1 billion people in hysterics last night as he unleashed his stand up comedy routine in China.  In front of the TV cameras he rolled out a series of rib ticklers which included calls for China to give her people Internet freedom and human rights.

The Jesus-a-like proved to be a crowd pleaser going as far to mention that he’ll still sell weapons to Taiwan, a joke that was met with some heckling from the crowd.  The Chancellor, in true stand-up tradition, soon took down the hecklers with an appeasing joke about the ownership of Tibet to much applause.  The routine is now a favourite on Chinese state television, CCTV (seriously), and the viewing figures suggest every single man, woman and child in China has now watched it 2.3 times.

The highlight of the routine came when the Chancellor did his shtick on human rights.  Obama started the gag with “So what’s the deal with human rights?  You guys ever heard of that?  No, me neither!  What the hell happened to human lefts?  Yeah, that’s right the weird ones, perhaps they’re all in Japan, eh?!”  The hilarity didn’t stop there when Chancellor Obama moved on to Internet freedom in the communist state.  “So I tried to Google myself in one of your Internet cafes yesterday.  Pretty hard when you can’t Google anything at all, instead I got Baidu?!  Baidu!?  WTF!  How do you make a verb out of that – ‘I Baidu-ed myself’, it just doesn’t sound right.”

Towards the end of his routine, Obama turned to the watching Communist party members and said “In America we have meetings and we exchange opinions and ideas.  In China the communists idea of an exchange of opinion is that you turn up with yours and leave with theirs!”