Band of Slugs

Cameron Gets Quote for Underfloor Heating at No. 10

David Cameron has been consulting various tradesmen about his vision for 10 Downing Street ahead of his expected move next year.  After winning the general election Mister Cameron is expected to install a swimming pool, loft insulation and double glazing to the front of the house.  Top of the agenda for the Tory leader is underfloor heating in the kitchen where it is said the slate tiled floor can get a bit chilly in the winter.

A source close to the future prime minister said “He loves all that eco nonsense but when it comes to his house he’s all about the mod-cons!  What sort of country can we call this if the leader doesn’t have a swimming pool or underfloor heating?”  When asked what, if any, considerations were being made to make the famous house more environmentally friendly he told us “Well he wants one of those Dyson Airblades!  He loves them, everyone does.  They use less power to dry your hands so I suppose that’s a bit of good news for the tree huggers.”

Meanwhile, 3 van loads of paper shredders have been delivered to No. 10.  It is not known what their purpose is but some have speculated that they are intended to create shredding for the Gordon browns hamsters.