Band of Slugs

Watching Sport For Free is Populist Nonsense

Bugger the people, we want more money say SFA & ECB

The Scottish Football Association, or at least their best attempt at one, and the English Cricket Board both came out to denounce government plans to allow all Britons, regardless of wealth, watch top sports on free-to-air TV channels.

The Scottish FA said of the plan to put all four nations home football matches on terrestrial channels to ensure everybody can enjoy the beautiful (adjective applies to English football only) game without having to pay for satellite equipment.  A spokesman said “Och nay, ya shite-ing bastarts yee!  Those arseholing jessies in their posh London hurmes divvunee have a clue aboot what we Scots want.  We want to charge, through the nose, for our people tee watch the foootbal – populist nonsense, full o’ crap they are!  Do they think our pensions and annual bonuses pay fer themsel’s?  Let me tell yoo boy!  They do not.”

Meanwhile the English Cricket Board (ECB) were far more intelligble and eloquent with their rebutal of the Governemnt plans.  In the proposal the popular Ashes series, where England take on Austrailia for a week of Oz-based cheatery, is set to be broadcast for free. In a statement the ECB said “Well, of course we don’t believe that the grass roots game has suffered and frankly we believe that people really don’t mind paying Sky a small fortune to take a week off work, unpaid for the most part, and pay them for not only the privilege of having Sky but again to watch something on it.  Obviously, without the money from Sky we at the ECB would have to take jobs at Westminster to make the sort  of money we make here and who would run the show?  Ordinary people?  Don’t make us all laugh till we pee ourselves.”

Briton took the opportunity to show a modest amount of restrained support for a Government that is usually too preoccupied with doing their level best to ruin the country.  Jackie Lawrence, a relatively well-off Welsh person, said “Well I don’t really watch sport but doesn’t it make sense that everyone who does at least gets to see the major events without having to sell a child to afford a complete Sky package with ESPN, Setanta, MUTV, a selection of lesser football team channels and all the Pay-Per-View?”