Band of Slugs

Demand for Dog Clothes Among Cat Owners Slumps

Demand for Dog Clothes among Cat owners has dropped to its lowest level since records began last year amid fears that Cats are becoming slightly annoyed at having to rely on idiots who buy them dog clothes to open their cans of, what is hopefully, Cat food.  Dog Clothes, it seems, are really just for dogs and and the number of cross-dressing cats hasn’t increased from an estimated 3 in at least 3 months.

Reginald Digby, a ‘Cat Psycoligist’, recommends trying it once and if your hand is still in usable condition after the first fitting then it may be safe to carry on with the bizarre practice of making usually dignified cats look like fools.  “It’s a real concern for any potential Dog Clothing purchase that your cat might not actually want to wear it.  The signs are fairly clear, if your cat tries to kill you then it might be an objection to the clothes” said Professor Digby.

Mrs. Argyle, an old cat lady, is a regular cat dresser and says her 19 year old cat delights in wearing the latest fashions. She said “Yes deary, Tiddles likes blue clothes, you see.  She’s ever so old now and I’m not so sure she has any idea of what’s going on.  I stood on her tail yesterday and she purred – I don’t suppose she would care too much if I dressed her as a Koi carp – ohh, she used to dislike them as my husband can tell you!”

Cats have become more aggressive and less patient with their owners in recent years.  Tests carried out in Germany support a growing belief that the age of the Cat is upon us.  Franz Hinkelwart, the scientist who studied Cat attitudes, said “Imagine if you were owned by a Baboon and had to rely on it to support you.  Perhaps you’d think you could do a much better job.  Well, so do cats.  Our research suggests that they are at breaking point and putting them in dog clothes may be the tipping point.  You have been warned.”