Band of Slugs

Red Ken Accusses BBC of Bias

Militant populist Ken Livingston has accused the equally loathsome BBC of bias after the delightful Boris Johnson made a smile-inducing cameo on the set of Eastenders.  The soap, the most misguided portrayal of London life since Hawley Primary Schools rendition of Dickens’ Oliver, is often considered a major platform for politicians to raise their profile recently after any campaign for votes.

Livingston, a horrible communist and accomplished liar, had asked at least three times to feature on the show and had been turned down every time.  Likable Boris however was asked to appear and duly agreed to the short scene, raising mild chortles and irresistible smiles the length of Britain.  The communist former Major said “I asked lots and lots to get on to that telly program and they never let me on oh no that would be too much for them would it not be I think you will agree so there.”  Shamefully, he began to cry like a pathetic girl.

It had been thought that the BBC wouldn’t have the time to arrange such an appearance such is their commitment to brow-beating the British people in to daily guilt trips for being consumerist, polluting, slightly right leaning, occasionally pro-Israel and being generally supportive of the nations military personnel.

An investigation will be launched by the ruling Nazi Labour party in to why a conservative, Eton educated major of London was allowed to appear in a show set in the city.  Gordon Brown is said to be distraught and will remove his support of the show and switch entirely to Take the High Road, a Scottish show that is no longer produced.

Boris Johnson said of the matter “Well, I only asked for a nice pint of Bitter!  Hardly a lecture on the mis-givings of a middle ground socialist dictatorate that seems bent on the corruption of British values and the abolishion of sovereignty, is it!  The silly beggars.  Ping Pong, anybody?”