Band of Slugs

Noddy Seen Driving Used BMW

The internationally forgotten children’s TV character Noddy has been spotted in a Used BMW, it was not confirmed last night.

Virtually all the news agencies in the UK and Europe picked the story up and immediately dropped it again. The report, which only BandOfSlugs has chosen to bring you, states that the car Noddy was in was coloured red with yellow doors.

“I think he must have bought the yellow doors offov scrap metal merchant – looks like he’s trying to harp back to the old days, Beamer style,” commented Victor Vilnius Chyckseski from Newport, Wales.

It has been suggested by some that Noddy has been driving round in the yellow-red toy magnet in a bid to attract big-eared elves and possibly – at a push – the odd pixie. The motor has been allegedly seen crawling the red light districts of towns like Toyland Town and Toy Village, not to mention Toy City and Toy Hamlet.

Members of the public have been asked to notify the authorities if they happen to notice a garishly coloured second hand German car driven by a little wooden man, such as the one mentioned herein.

Constable Toy of Toyland said “Clearly, Noddy has moved up from the clapped out car he had before – it looked like a toy! No, we’re a bit more concerned now, as Toyland’s Tonka police cars cannot hope to catch a kerb crawling elf in a souped-up used motor such as the one described. Do not approach this fictitious toy character under any circumstances.