Band of Slugs

Credit Crunch Influences Baby Names

The recession is being blamed for a rise in credit crunch related naming of British offspring.  Popular baby names such as ‘Jack’ and ‘Louise’ have been pushed down the top 10 with new parents opting for ‘Liebfraumilch’, ‘Diamond White’ and the increasingly popular ‘Lidl’ for their child’s monikers.

Former trends, such as naming a child after the city they were conceived in or the alcoholic drink that was blamed for the lapse in contraception, have changed with woman not drinking as much Chardonnay, men being unable to afford a Mercedes and nobody spending much time in posh cities abroad.  New names reflect similar principles but as the recession bites Chardonnay has become ‘Lambrini’, Mercedes has become ‘Daewoo’ and where mums and dads may have spent a dirty weekend in Brooklyn it appears that ‘Coventry’ is now the weekend-away of choice.

New Parents Hollywood and Bugatti Smith from Hull said “We was buttered on Mad Dog while away in Runcorn, we called are little baby ‘Scratchings’ after the meal we had in the pub.  ‘Scratchings’, it sounds quite Bavarian don’t you think?”

Kevin Farnsworth, who compiled the new list, said “It’s all very cyclical and often follows patterns of economic affluence, or otherwise these days.  I’m sure that in a couple of years we’ll start congratulating people on the birth of a ‘Tesco’ until we’re all loaded again and Tesco will have a little sister called ‘Waitrose’.  My money is on ‘Rightmove’ being the top name next year!”