Band of Slugs

Robbie Comeback Not As Good As Jesus

Robbie Williams comeback has been branded ‘not as good as the resurection’ by just about everyone who noticed that Robbie is in fact coming back.  News of a new single and video release made the ‘and finally’ section of Northumberlands local news program.  It has been suggested that Mr. Williams would like very much to sell a few records and mirror the success of Take That, a ‘man band’ that make Williams music sound like an eggy fart from an obese and clinically ill boar.

Early critiques of the song all aggree that as comebacks go, Mohammed Ali has a better chance of regaining a World Championship Belt in heavyweight boxing.  “That Jesus fella, now he can throw a comeback!  A real stageman he was” said Pierre Dunstable, a critic.  “So everyone thought he was dead, and then he ‘comes back to life’ and surprises everyone.  His sales must have went through the roof!  Robbie should have let on he was really ill or something, people love that.  Worked for that Minogue lass didn’t it.”

Church leaders aggreed “Jesus knew what he was doing with his comeback, nothing short of Elvis making an appearance at a Jackson tribute concert would top that.  Unless Jackson did actually come back from the dead in a sort of remake of his Thriller video and scared the absolute bejesus out of everyone.  I’d sign up for that religion!” said Father Patrick O’Flanaghy.

Robbie Williams fans proved difficult to track down.  Victoria Smith, the webmaster of robbiewilliamsfans.com said “Who?  Website?  Oh that, I only had it to run some adverts on there, I must get about £15 a month – it pays for a couple of Vodka Redbulls I suppose.  So is he coming back then?  Ad revenues might perk up a bit then.”

Robbie Williams, who actually believes UFO’s (as in proper Extraterrestrial and that) visit Earth and walk among us et cetera, said people should prepare for “something cosmic to happen”.  A statement which was universal greeted with “You what, piss off you nutter!”.

Jesus was unavailable for comment.