Band of Slugs

Vince Cable Gets Hair Transplant

Vince Cable proudly displayed his new Hair Transplant this morning as word spread of his disappointment at not being invited to Sky News televised Leaders Debate.  Cable, constantly swanning about like he owns the place, has been well received by voters for his common-sense stance on many issues but is often seen with a ‘kick me’ post-it note on his back when leaving parliament.  It is believed the hair transplant is part of an overall bid to be better looking than Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg.

Vince Cable said “I’ve worked my knackers off trying to please literally everyone but when it comes to a ‘leaders debate Sky only wants to talk about that Nick Clegg bloke.  What’s he going to do?  Chat up the females on the front row, that’s what!  By the way, the NHS.  I love it!’”

Sky News said “If he wants to make like he’s the big shot in the er… what are they called again?  Yeah, the yellow ones… that’s it, Norwich City FC then that’s his lookout.  I mean, as if turning up with a big wig on his head is going to change things.  It’s called the leaders debate.  He had his chance and he blew it.  What next, is William Hague going to stick a mohican on his head and start saying Europe is a good idea?  4 to 1 you say, I’ll take some of that!”

Mary Smith, an ordinary person, said “I think he looks rather nice, bit like Beckham before he turned in to a Space Marine.  And he once told me that he aggreed with my assertion that Nick Clegg is a big Jessie.”