Band of Slugs

I’ve got a Motorola M2497, and I AM embarrassed

There’s only so many times you can joke “I’ll just put your number in my iphone 3,” when you actually own a phone that looks like it was designed in 1988. 

The pressure is on though. It isn’t funny to own a phone that says you have 1 voicemail, when in reality you have 23. A blue back light doesn’t impress anyone. Having a crap phone just causes social problems. It malfunctions so much that you can’t organise any social occasions anyway.

When that moment of clarity hits the Crap Phone Owner, they might realise how much promiscuous sex has been lost over the years. How many prospective lays have been about to ‘hand the deeds over’, when they clap eyes on your Motorola M2497 (which offers cutting edge SMS technology)? The lust suddenly evaporates from their eyes. Disgusted about their near miss with the technologically disadvantaged, they turn tail and run. The jilted Crap Phone Owner looks down dejectedly at their telecommunications monstrosity, which ominously reads “no new messages”, filthy blue light illuminating the CPO’s face.

How many job interviews have been within reach, when your mum rings at the vital moment, and you have to bring out your archaic back lit horror?

Don’t call us – we’ll call you.

If your phone works.

The message here is simple. Your phone is as important as a shiny pair of shoes or a push-up bra when it comes impressing people.

Choose Life. Choose a decent phone.