Band of Slugs

Man Accused Of Punching Dog In Face

A Dog has claimed that a man punched him in the face whilst he was in a Colchester pub. The dog, who is a resident of the Fox And Hounds pub, and sometimes tries to communicate with drunk people, claims the incident took place last night.

“I was up on my hind legs, with my paws on the bar when this guy just lamps me one in the chops.”

The dog went on “I’ve had to lay off the pork scratchings until my bruised face came down a bit.”

In response to the incident, the Glaswegian landlady (who got the dog after seeing a man about him), shouted something that no one else could understand. The man who allegedly punched the dog was then frog-marched out of the public house, whereupon a mob of angry Colchester Ladies Darts League members starting making snidey remarks about him immediately after he walked off.

Gerald Maybury from North Yorkshire said of the incident: “I’ve not heard anything about a dog being punched in the face, when did this happen then?”

A spokesman for the Essex Constabulary said of the incident: “We have been getting a lot of calls regarding dogs being punched in the face recently – it seems there is a wave of this kind of behaviour occurring across the county. A cocker spaniel got slapped in the chops in a Manningtree Co-Op only last Wednesday.”

Police want to question the man who was involved in the dog face punching incident. There have been some unconfirmed sightings in the local park where dog walkers are being asked to be extra vigilant around their dog’s faces.